He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
