Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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