I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
