i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
