i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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