Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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