Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
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