I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
