maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
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Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
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