Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
