I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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