i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
