??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
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You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
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I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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