so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I need to calm my uterus...
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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