Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
