Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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