and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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