I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
