I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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