That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
