So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
