sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
