you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
