This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
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