Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
