Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
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