then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
