I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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