i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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