Where did you get a picture of my penis
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
