Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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