The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
do nipples grow back?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
