When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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