We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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