Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
