I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Im part way to drunk.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
