Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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