i don't like sucking hair
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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