do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
the raccoons are back...
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