OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize