He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
