I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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