ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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