i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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