You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
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Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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