Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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