i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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