just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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