So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
