He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
