I CAN MOONWALK!
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Randomize
