ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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