I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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