I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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