I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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