have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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