Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
