Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
