somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
