Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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