rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize