Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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