Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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