he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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