my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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