So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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