Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
